Final Journal Entry

For all my friends who have supported me financially and emotionally throughout this trip, I really wanted to be able to share with you some of the things I felt in India. It will be a few weeks before I am back in Santa Rosa so I am taking some time now to update you on the trip and what has happened. I think the best way to do so will be to type up my final journal entry which I wrote on the plane ride home. It is by no means a complete picture of my experience, nor will it be my last blog, but it is something. I love you all!

August 1
Airplane to U.S.

We are almost to Chicago. We spent a last (very hectic) 2 days in Delhi. Kelly's camera and passport were stolen on the train so most of Friday was spent at the American Embassy. That night, we held an UnNamed Servant concert and Saturday we went to a Mall and 2 bazars in Delhi. I am at last beginning to feel comfortable with these people, although I am still sensitive to them and how I act around them. (I was referring to the team I went with, not the people of India)

At the concert in Delhi UnNamed Servant sang a song about the children of the world, wanting to feed them, clothe them, parent them, love them. I think we were all crying. I thought of the little boy sniffing glue and chewing masala (tobacco) at the train station in Patna. I thought of the little girl who wore a t-shirt that read "Have a Nice Day", and her sweet, shy, haunting smile. I thought of the little baby lying on the sidewalk, covered in flies, staring at me. I thought of all the children who never smile. I thought of how we were in an air-conditioned hotel, yet they were still in their train stations and on their sidewalks. They are their sidewalks and train stations because those are their homes.They still had flies swarming them and dirty clothes, no shoes and rotting teeth. Lucy fell asleep in my arms, a clean, warm, sweet baby. They deserve her life. They don't deserve what they have.

I will remember India as a whirlwind of an experience. We visited so many places and saw so many things. I will remember the gentle jostle and sway of the trains, watching the scenery fly by from the open door. I will remember the oppressive heat. Sweat pouring from my body and being resigned to the sticky touch of my skin. I will remember being treated like a celebrity, a million hands reaching out to me, waiting to be shaken. I will remember standing for pictures with Sikh children who could have been boys or girls, I never could tell. I'll remember bathing in the freezing cold of a Himalya river. Washing my clothes by hand in buckets. Eating with my fingers, coming to love rice and daal, chapatti and butter chicken. Falling asleep the moment my head hit that dirty blue leather of the train bunk beds, and waking up with a sheen of oil and sweat covering my face. Washing my teeth whenever I could get the chance. My swollen feet and ankles and a thousand bug bites. (I had a case of cellulitis after walking through some dirty water with open bug bites on my feet) Down by the banks of the hanky panky with the little girls in Dahliwad. Flossing the teeth of a woman whose teeth were falling out, the irony of that moment and the helplessness I felt. Playing soccer with a group of boys one early and HOT Kolkata morning (and nearly passing out). Seeing Mother Teresa's tomb and reading about her legacy and being incredibly inspired.

At times I wanted just to go home, at other times I loved India so much it hurt. Seeing the Taj Mahal and the Golden Temple and wondering why these people worship buildings and statues. And then remembering that in America, we do it too. Eating and drinking chai in the homes of hospitable strangers. Sleeping on the street for a night and hating it. (This was an intentional experience, don't worry!) Juicy mangoes and all kinds of cookies and sweets on the train. Dancing and singing and sharing with the people. Touching hands and arms, wanting to know people, only to be frustrated by a language barrier too great to overcome in a few brief moments. Remembering to keep my eyes open. Remembering to be open, remembering to love, remembering to be outside of myself.

This is all for now. I love you guys!